Parking ticket

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For inappropriately parked cars.


PARKING VIOLATION

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STATE OR PROVINCE


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LICENSE NUMBER


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TIME ( AM | PM )


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MAKE OF AUTOMOBILE

Thanks for the way you parked your car, you incredible ignoramus.

This is not a ticket, but if it were within my power, you would receive two.

Because of your bull-headed, inconsiderate, feeble attempt at parking, not only have you have taken up enough room for a 20-mule team, two elephants, one goat, and a troop of Cub Scouts at a Jamboree, but you have also managed to offend, rile, and infuriate every courteous driver in the local tri-state area.

The reason for giving you this, is so that in the future you may think of someone other than yourself. Besides, I don’t like domineering, egotistical, simple-minded or chowderheaded drivers and you probably fit into one or all of these categories.

I sign off wishing you an early transmission failure (on the expressway at about 4:30 p.m.). Also, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.


WITH MY COMPLIMENTS